My Camera was stepped on by a Clydesdale horse. I think the focus is off!
Outcome: Major body recalibration to correct focus.

I sat on my digital camera. The lens is crooked, can you fix it?
Outcome: Yes, we repaired it. Not good to sit on any camera.

An elephant chased me as my AE-1P fell to the ground with my 400mm!
Outcome: Ripped the mirror box out of the (parts) camera. Next time, use peanuts as a diversion...then run.

Bouncing digital camera! Tripped in the sand, camera bounced off a log, fell in the saltwater.
Outcome: Proof that digital cameras do bounce!

I ran my camera through the washing machine. Can it be cleaned?
Outcome: OK, it's already clean, just needs to be hung out to dry.

My lens cover was pecked off by my parrot.
Outcome: Replaced lens cover and recommended keeping it away from the parrot.

My camera died just when I was taking pictures of the trained pigs... Such a bummer!!!
Outcome: Need to find out what the pigs did to the camera.

I sat on my camera. Doesn't work quite right!
Outcome: We can service the camera, shouldn't you see a doctor?

I forgot where I put my camera, found it hanging in the apple tree. It survived a harsh, snowy winter.
Outcome: Amazingly it survived.  It just needed a thorough cleaning.

I ran over my Nikon with the car.
Outcome: Did the car survive?

I ran over my Minolta 7xi with the car.
Outcome: It was a good thing this was a strong camera.  I just had to replace a cracked LCD and everything else worked great.

Did you find any unusual dust or dirt in my camera?
Outcome: After the cleaning the customer asks "Did you find any unusual dust?"  Turns out they had been spreading their sisters ashes when the wind blew it back onto the camera.

My dog thought it tasted like his chew toy.
Outcome: Didn't know cameras tasted like chew toys!

How could it be sand damaged? We have never taken our camera to the beach........we just got back from Hawaii though!!!
Outcome: At least we're not talking water damage!

My Nikon F4 dropped 2 stories, hit the pavement. It still works!
Outcome: How many times does a Nikon bounce? I don't want to know!

Nothing works. Camera was soaking wet in my diaper bag. Breast milk!
Outcome: Breast milk!  Worked great after burping!

We weren't even near the beach, we went hiking on a volcano.
Outcome: Removed mysterious sand.

How could it be sand damaged, we were in the desert!?!!
Outcome: Removed really dense desert "air" from camera.

Corn-on-the-cob at the fair was dripping good! Butter damage.
Outcome: Sounds finger lickin' good, right?  This one survived with a thorough cleaning.

Dropped my AE-1 off a cliff. Camera ripped in half..... Fix it!
Outcome: Can I show you a similar model in the showcase?

Salt water sprayed my camera, I rinsed it off in the sink....Doesn't Work!

My friend found a K-1000 while scuba diving in Lake Washington. Fix it!
Outcome: Camera is on permanent display in my store window.

Tripped, fell into a tide pool, soaked in the sink, dried out in the tropical warm sun of Hawaii. 
Outcome: Good news.....no sand! And what a suntan!

There's a spider walking around in my viewfinder..... Kill it!!!

I took it apart, can you put it back together?
Outcome: Of course! Half of the work is already done!

Can't see through the viewfinder.....can you remove the horsefly?
Outcome: Second largest bug I have ever found in a camera.

Either it's mold or there's a full moon out tonight!
Outcome: Technician wouldn't touch this with a 10 foot pole!

Can't understand why my camera won't work. Has new batteries. 
And by the way, it got wet if that helps to know! No, it wasn't water. It got splashed with beer. It was flowing out of the camera.